Hope To The End                        Articles

Falling in Love

"Love is a many splendored thing. It's the April rose that only grows in the early Spring."

Falling in love is the most splendid and exhilarating feeling in all the world. Just to love and be loved is one of the greatest reasons on earth for living and for giving.

Love keeps a song in the heart and a skip in the step. Love sees the world through a whole new light. When you love someone , you seek to spend all of your time with that person.
Just to BE with that person is very heaven on earth.

That is why it is so important to choose your companions and friendships very carefully.
For out of your daily associates will come the one and only one... your beloved.

Since this person, your beloved, becomes the most important person in your life, how can you make a wise choice regarding a mate for a life-time ? Yes, even though many divorces exist in the world today, marriage is still a sacred commitment...a life-long commitment---as long as the two of you remain God-centered and wholesomely loving toward one another. If the relationship changes into one of hostility toward each other, even God Himself allows you to separate and divorce. God made provision for divorce in the Old Testament, so even man cannot deny divorce when it is the proper thing to do. But that is not what we are addressing here. We are speaking today about loving and being loved in a life-long commitment.

Where does one go to find out about love ? Well, why not go to someone who married more wives and concubines than most any one . King Solomon.

King Solomon is referred to in the Bible as the wisest man that ever lived. You can't get any better references than that. Solomon wrote down what he learned about life and love in a book called
"The Book of Proverbs." This book of the Bible contains 31 chapters. http://blueletterbible.org

My spouse and I read a chapter a day for each day of the month. In other words, on the 6th day of the month we read Chapter 6; on the 25th day of the month we read Chapter 25 etc.
On the last day of the month we may read two chapters depending upon which month it is.
But ALWAYS we start over again every first day of the month reading Chapter One of Proverbs. We have been doing this for 35 years of our 38 year marriage, so far. Why the constant repetition ? Because these nuggets of wisdom bear repeating every day. They keep the heart steady, pure, and focused.

The Book of Proverbs "swims" against the daily tide of impurity and lust thrown at all of us from every avenue of the media. The words of Proverbs swim against wrong advise given by others. The Book of Proverbs keeps us grounded and anchored in God's way, and not man's way.

One of the best translations for the easy reading of Proverbs is from the Living Bible (also called "The Way"). There are other good, easy-to-read translations. The King James is our favorite version of the Bible, but it is difficult to read the Proverbs in that version.

If you read these verses over and over again, writing them down and memorizing them, you WILL become wise. You will make good choices. You will discern better. You will have fine- tuned the still small voice inside, making it more audible. You will actually make correct decisions each and every time, because you referred to God's ways, rather than one's own way.

Now I have told you the good side of love and the best guidance for love. I need to tell you the down-side. Love makes us blind. Our hearts are unruly things
(Jeremiah 17:9) and like a run-away horse, we need to bridle our blind hearts. We need to rein-in our affections and
overt personalities. We need to guard our affections above all things, for out of love flows the very issues of life itself.

Can you say "no" to yourself when you know you should say no ?
Can you cut off a harmful relationship 100 % ??
If you can't, you're not ready for love. To be able to love , one has to be able to say "yes" AND to say "no".

Love isn't always sunshine and roses. Your beloved has faults. Those faults can flare into arguments. When that happens [ and it will ] both parties must be willing to make amends.
There is no better advise than this : "Never let the sun go down upon your anger".
Ephesians 4:26
Get over it and get over it quickly. Forgive and FORGET. Don't bring it up the next day, the next week, the next month, the next year....well, you get the idea.

Love is a two-way street. It is not a union between a giver and a taker. It is a union between two givers. Is your beloved thoughtful and kind and respectful ? Does he or she practice self-discipline ? Does that person genuinely care about you and others ? Or is that person absorbed in self ?
Does your beloved practice humility ? Humility means accepting your role in life.
Women were meant to be keepers at home [ Titus 2:5 ] and raise children and make meals.
Men were meant to work every day to provide the money for food, clothing and shelter for his wife and children. This concept is now out-dated and perhaps that is why so many persons are unwilling to take the risk of trusting another for a life-long commitment. Nowadays most people are single parents or just plain single. That is OK if the Lord has allowed.

The old-fashioned norms may not be politically correct, but they are Biblically sound. (
Titus 2: 5).
Due to the current economic situation, it may take both of you to work; but that is not the ideal. However, each partner is a helper, and must be willing to do whatever it takes to help out the home situation. God blesses that sacrificial love for one another.

Does the special person in your life worry about what other people think? That's a living nightmare. One must care only about what God thinks. When you live that way, you will be better able to nurture and discipline your children. Otherwise, if you are obsessed with their approval of you, you will spoil them and your pampering of them will injure them for life. It will keep them from maturing and being able to function on their own after high-school.

So don't be afraid to be the "bad guy" and say "no" to your children when "no" is what is needed to be said. It is best that you and your spouse be in agreement when it comes to saying yes and no to the children.

The best way to raise children is to Listen to them; to hear what they are not saying , as well as what they are saying. Connect the dots. Spend time with them. Quantity time. Be open, honest and forthright with them.
But let us get back to our main topic.

If you ask God in your daily prayers to send into your life the right person to marry, He will do that. "You have not, because you ask not" (
James 4:2).
When you find that one and only one, and when you exchange vows for life and when you settle down and raise a family, your children will want to see love
and respect evidenced in the home. It is good to be genuinely affectionate in front of the children. The best gift you can give your children is to love one another. Children would rather have parents that love each other, than to have any other thing in the world.
I Got You Babe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzW_7ANnHZI Sonny and Cher

If, as the years roll along, the love dims, recharge it by the grace of God. Take time to tell your spouse daily the praises that should come to that person. Take time to be kind and thoughtful. Do the little things that mean a lot.
SONG https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C7SzKv2uLU Kitty Kallen

Go beyond routine and duty and make alive the relationship through effort and extras.

A good marriage produces a good home and good children and a good neighborhood and a
good nation and a good world.

"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". It is so true.

"Women marry men wanting to change them ; men wish women would stay the same as when they first met." -- Unknown

"love"...according to Islam:

"it is adolescence which ensures a lifetime of cruelty. The separation of the sexes is so complete and abnormal that it leads, and has to lead, to abnormal behavior. If a girl is accused of illicit activities with a boy, not even G-d can save her. She can be murdered for the sake of her family's honor and because of the shame she caused, and the murderer will be found innocent or sentenced to a perfunctorily light sentence.

We are not talking about or advocating wild promiscuity now. Religious Jews and Christians are also obliged to choose chastity, but in all but the rarest of cases, are permitted to choose a mate they love.
The courtship rituals of Orthodox Jews would certainly be considered constricted by secular standards, but they are dating in their way. Whether through friends or matchmakers, almost always chaperoned, they come to know
their partners before committing themselves to marriage. And needless to say, most Israelis have a far less restricted dating life before settling down.

  The Arabs surrounding Israel dare not mix genders, no matter how much they may love someone. The Jerusalem neighborhood of Talpiot has three Arab villages on its border. You can see the daring young people of these
villages meeting on isolated park or street benches. This Jewish suburb provides a brief sanctuary for them. And it will be brief because both have been promised by their parents to someone else. They will eventually be consigned to a loveless arranged marriage and only the brave will fight back. But these brave do exist, in large numbers I'm told, but they are
fighting a losing battle to tradition and Islamic fundamentalism.

-- Barry Chamash   

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Bible www.blueletterbible.org